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Today Rosie discusses her experience with people asking her if she had lost weight and how it made her feel. Rosie asks us to banish weigh-loss comments from our interactions.
I have been working on this one for a while. About a year ago a very young girl at my work had her stomach stapled. She was very anxious about her weight and we spoke about it a number of times. I all but begged her not to go through with it, she was 21! But her terror and hatred of fat drove her to it. She lost an enormous amount of weight very rapidly. She also gained a wide range of food intolerance's, like egg, wheat and lactose.
Everyone at work was constantly ranting and raving about how amazing she looked and congratulating her.
I chose not to.
I wanted her to know that whatever her shape I would still be her friend. I would not see her weight as a personal achievement. I remember getting all those compliments, and while they were great at the time, each one of them stung me when the weight came back, and it always comes back.
I think the other important thing about never trying to discuss someone else's weight is they then think, quite rightly, they can discuss yours. I will not be having a discussion instigated by another person about my weight.
For me when someone asks me that, I start to question myself, 'do I look super fat the rest of the time?', 'is this some kind of 'magic slimming' outfit?!' and 'how can I make sure I look slimmer next time I see them as well'. As Rosie says in her piece, it stays with me for a while.
I have taken to telling all my friends, that they look great, every time I see them. It doesn't have to be a big serious thing, a 'Hello, Gorgeous' is fun and makes them and me feel good.
Weight doesn't need to be up for discussion. So many other things to notice about your friends.